I am going to try to keep this short and sweet.
For all of you complaining about the changes Facebook makes... you do realize the internet is not a safe haven for your information? It is not a place to hide all your most secret of secrets, a diary to be left unread by no one.. ESPECIALLY SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES.
Who cares if a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend's fake Facebook page for their dog sees that you liked another friends picture or status? Really, if it were such a huge deal that absolutely NO ONE who doesn't know you saw your online activity then you wouldn't have a social networking site, let alone 2 or 3.. sometimes even 4.
Stop pretending like Facebook owes you something and shut up.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Housewivery and the Downfall of Marriage
I may get criticism for this post, but I don't care.
A friend and I were having a text-versation today about how we would like to be housewives someday. Like, 1950's stay at home with the children until they are old enough to go to school and then get pedicures everyday after that. We realize women before fought hard for the rights we have today and of course, are thankful for that. However, we don't understand what's wrong with wanting to raise your children in your own home, volunteer in the community, work part-time, tend to the house, and have a real meal on the table when your husband or partner gets home at the end of the day. As far as I'm concerned, that sounds like a great life if your household income can handle it.
I would like to make it clear at this point that I am absolutely not saying women should not work outside of the home or even be the bread winners of the home.. that's not even the point here. My point is that if a there is a person in the home making more than adequate the income for their family to live comfortably, then why shouldn't the other person be allowed to be a homemaker?
Too much focus has been taken off family. Parents put their children in sports and other activities to keep them busy, social and most of all.. away from those bad kids who are a bad influence on their little lives. And this is great, activities do offer many benefits for a child's growth and development. But in the mess of it all, family time has been compromised. Family dinners have been replaced with fast food and frozen meals. Free-time between activities is filled with homework instead of creative play. Parents have no time to themselves between their jobs, feeding the kids, paying the bills, and driving all over the city to piano lessons, basketball practice, and hip-hop/contemporary movement dance class.
More importantly, in my opinion, what about time for a relationship with your significant other? The divorce rate is up 378% in the past however many years.. and for what reason? Studies have been done, and that's whatever.. This is how I see it: In the olden days, women relied on men to survive. You found a husband and that was your only true life goal. But I want to look a bit beyond that. The men and the women relied on one another.. The man made the money out in the workplace to support his home while the woman cleaned the house, made the meals, and tended to the children (the people to continue the family name.) They NEEDED each other, bottom line.. sorry but that's the way it was.
Now neither needs one another. Men and women work and live on their own for years before they get married. They spend years dating a person before deciding if they are a good fit for their life (another downfall I see, but that's a different blog.) Neither person needs the other to survive so what's the point in keeping them around once a flaw is found? Seriously, think about it. I know what some of you are thinking, "ohhh but love is what is important! Once you find someone who will love you forever none of the other issues will matter!"
Love is all fine and dandy, but the love stories that set up our generation's expectations of love are unrealistic or BASED ON LIFE DURING A TIME OF HOUSEWIVES. You know, freshly baked pies and chivalry.
Men are visual creatures (usually) while women tend to rely more on personality (usually) when it comes to finding a mate. SO, what if the wife stayed at home during the day.. maybe has a part-time job or volunteers or something... but at the end of the day had time to freshen up, put on an outfit she knew her husband would love, and cook him a real meal? What if he had time to rest by having the meal already there for him so neither had to worry about taking the time to make one after a long, most likely stressful day? Would more conversation happen? What if there was an agreement and understanding of the duties each person had rather than arguing over who would do the dishes and who would take the dog for a walk? Maybe there is too much compromise in the world of marriage today.
During this text-versation my friend made a good point: "100% equality doesn't work. Men are better at certain things. Women are better at others. That is not a bad thing." And I agree, equality in decisions for the household I believe is important. However when it comes to chores and money it just becomes an argument.
I'm unsure if I will ever be able to stay at home full-time once Nate gets up and running with everything and I'm not necessarily betting on it. But I'm sure, if given the opportunity to do so, I would stay home at least for a few years to raise the babies properly and then work part-time after that. And I am perfectly okay with that. Hell, he already orders at restaurants on my behalf.
A friend and I were having a text-versation today about how we would like to be housewives someday. Like, 1950's stay at home with the children until they are old enough to go to school and then get pedicures everyday after that. We realize women before fought hard for the rights we have today and of course, are thankful for that. However, we don't understand what's wrong with wanting to raise your children in your own home, volunteer in the community, work part-time, tend to the house, and have a real meal on the table when your husband or partner gets home at the end of the day. As far as I'm concerned, that sounds like a great life if your household income can handle it.
I would like to make it clear at this point that I am absolutely not saying women should not work outside of the home or even be the bread winners of the home.. that's not even the point here. My point is that if a there is a person in the home making more than adequate the income for their family to live comfortably, then why shouldn't the other person be allowed to be a homemaker?
Too much focus has been taken off family. Parents put their children in sports and other activities to keep them busy, social and most of all.. away from those bad kids who are a bad influence on their little lives. And this is great, activities do offer many benefits for a child's growth and development. But in the mess of it all, family time has been compromised. Family dinners have been replaced with fast food and frozen meals. Free-time between activities is filled with homework instead of creative play. Parents have no time to themselves between their jobs, feeding the kids, paying the bills, and driving all over the city to piano lessons, basketball practice, and hip-hop/contemporary movement dance class.
More importantly, in my opinion, what about time for a relationship with your significant other? The divorce rate is up 378% in the past however many years.. and for what reason? Studies have been done, and that's whatever.. This is how I see it: In the olden days, women relied on men to survive. You found a husband and that was your only true life goal. But I want to look a bit beyond that. The men and the women relied on one another.. The man made the money out in the workplace to support his home while the woman cleaned the house, made the meals, and tended to the children (the people to continue the family name.) They NEEDED each other, bottom line.. sorry but that's the way it was.
Now neither needs one another. Men and women work and live on their own for years before they get married. They spend years dating a person before deciding if they are a good fit for their life (another downfall I see, but that's a different blog.) Neither person needs the other to survive so what's the point in keeping them around once a flaw is found? Seriously, think about it. I know what some of you are thinking, "ohhh but love is what is important! Once you find someone who will love you forever none of the other issues will matter!"
Love is all fine and dandy, but the love stories that set up our generation's expectations of love are unrealistic or BASED ON LIFE DURING A TIME OF HOUSEWIVES. You know, freshly baked pies and chivalry.
Men are visual creatures (usually) while women tend to rely more on personality (usually) when it comes to finding a mate. SO, what if the wife stayed at home during the day.. maybe has a part-time job or volunteers or something... but at the end of the day had time to freshen up, put on an outfit she knew her husband would love, and cook him a real meal? What if he had time to rest by having the meal already there for him so neither had to worry about taking the time to make one after a long, most likely stressful day? Would more conversation happen? What if there was an agreement and understanding of the duties each person had rather than arguing over who would do the dishes and who would take the dog for a walk? Maybe there is too much compromise in the world of marriage today.
During this text-versation my friend made a good point: "100% equality doesn't work. Men are better at certain things. Women are better at others. That is not a bad thing." And I agree, equality in decisions for the household I believe is important. However when it comes to chores and money it just becomes an argument.
I'm unsure if I will ever be able to stay at home full-time once Nate gets up and running with everything and I'm not necessarily betting on it. But I'm sure, if given the opportunity to do so, I would stay home at least for a few years to raise the babies properly and then work part-time after that. And I am perfectly okay with that. Hell, he already orders at restaurants on my behalf.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Please, no more questions.
Well, I've finally found a legitimate reason to join the blogging world. Reason enough anyway.. I'm moving to Canada.
Everyone has questions and I only have a few of the answers. Basically, I'm sick of people asking about the immigration process. Yes, it is complicated and scary. Yes, I could be denied. Yes, I'm actually moving further north than I currently live.
So, rather than be asked these (and so many more) questions over and over again I am going to hopefully be able to direct people here for updates. *sorry, if you aren't close friends or family, I will not be making a point to let you how the process is going.
I am also hoping that this blog will serve as help to other couples that may be in a similar situation as my husband and I am. I am going to do my best to provide dates and timelines of the process as well as costs, various paperwork with links to find them online and the like.
Lets begin.
Why Canada and not the U.S.?
Originally, Nate and I were planning on living in the States. There are more places to live here, the cost of living is lower, I have a degree and am more likely to get a job in the States than Canada, it's warmer... So, we started the paperwork. We actually did it all. Every last bit. We even had an interview appointment at the U.S. Consulate in Vancouver, B.C. Then Nate's boss offered him to buy into the company he works for, installing sprinkler systems. After a bit of thinking and discussing and realizing we didn't have much of a plan for once (if) he got into the U.S. we changed our minds. So, that's that.
Now what?
There are 2 options for immigrating to Canada. The first would be applying from outside of Canada. There are two parts to this process, the first being the approval of Nate sponsoring me to move. This involves making sure he isn't a serious criminal and that he can support me so I won't need to go on government assistant if I can't find a job. Currently, the processing of this part takes 60 days. The second part of the process is the assessment of me. Similar things: am I a felon? (no) Do I have any diseases that could harm Canadians and/or abuse their health care system? (no).. those sort of things. The website says that it is taking around 11 months to complete this part. So, it would be over a year before I could legally live in Canada.
Pros: Once in Canada I would be able to work and receive health care and all the benefits of being a Canadian. I could continue to work in the States while waiting for our paperwork to be processed. I can avoid Winnipeg winter.
Cons: Nate and I would have to go another year trading weekends driving to see each other (it's a 3.5 hour drive.) We would both be paying separate rent and cellphone bills.. electricity, internet/cable, groceries, gas.. etc. Nate and I would be married... living in different countries..... and have to drive 3.5 hours to see each other..
The second option for immigration is applying from within Canada. In this option I could visit Canada long term (Americans are allowed 6 months at a time) and start the paperwork there. This process takes about twice as long as option one.. I'm assuming the paperwork gets put on the back burner because we would at least be living together.
Pros: We could finally live together. We would save money on rent and gas, lots of gas.
Cons: The process takes twice as long and I won't be able to work until my application for an open work permit gets accepted, which could be up to a year. I could be denied the 6 month visit (and extentions) however, this isn't very likely.
After seeing the amount of time option one was going to take, we chose option two. Being apart from each other just isn't something we can do anymore. So, I am going to be an alien housewife.. I will spend my days cleaning, crafting, writing, cooking.. anything to keep myself busy. The plan right now is to enter Canada around November 1st. We will find an apartment and Nate will continue to work full-time to support the both of us. And that is all I know for now.. so please, enough with the questions.
Everyone has questions and I only have a few of the answers. Basically, I'm sick of people asking about the immigration process. Yes, it is complicated and scary. Yes, I could be denied. Yes, I'm actually moving further north than I currently live.
So, rather than be asked these (and so many more) questions over and over again I am going to hopefully be able to direct people here for updates. *sorry, if you aren't close friends or family, I will not be making a point to let you how the process is going.
I am also hoping that this blog will serve as help to other couples that may be in a similar situation as my husband and I am. I am going to do my best to provide dates and timelines of the process as well as costs, various paperwork with links to find them online and the like.
Lets begin.
Why Canada and not the U.S.?
Originally, Nate and I were planning on living in the States. There are more places to live here, the cost of living is lower, I have a degree and am more likely to get a job in the States than Canada, it's warmer... So, we started the paperwork. We actually did it all. Every last bit. We even had an interview appointment at the U.S. Consulate in Vancouver, B.C. Then Nate's boss offered him to buy into the company he works for, installing sprinkler systems. After a bit of thinking and discussing and realizing we didn't have much of a plan for once (if) he got into the U.S. we changed our minds. So, that's that.
Now what?
There are 2 options for immigrating to Canada. The first would be applying from outside of Canada. There are two parts to this process, the first being the approval of Nate sponsoring me to move. This involves making sure he isn't a serious criminal and that he can support me so I won't need to go on government assistant if I can't find a job. Currently, the processing of this part takes 60 days. The second part of the process is the assessment of me. Similar things: am I a felon? (no) Do I have any diseases that could harm Canadians and/or abuse their health care system? (no).. those sort of things. The website says that it is taking around 11 months to complete this part. So, it would be over a year before I could legally live in Canada.
Pros: Once in Canada I would be able to work and receive health care and all the benefits of being a Canadian. I could continue to work in the States while waiting for our paperwork to be processed. I can avoid Winnipeg winter.
Cons: Nate and I would have to go another year trading weekends driving to see each other (it's a 3.5 hour drive.) We would both be paying separate rent and cellphone bills.. electricity, internet/cable, groceries, gas.. etc. Nate and I would be married... living in different countries..... and have to drive 3.5 hours to see each other..
The second option for immigration is applying from within Canada. In this option I could visit Canada long term (Americans are allowed 6 months at a time) and start the paperwork there. This process takes about twice as long as option one.. I'm assuming the paperwork gets put on the back burner because we would at least be living together.
Pros: We could finally live together. We would save money on rent and gas, lots of gas.
Cons: The process takes twice as long and I won't be able to work until my application for an open work permit gets accepted, which could be up to a year. I could be denied the 6 month visit (and extentions) however, this isn't very likely.
After seeing the amount of time option one was going to take, we chose option two. Being apart from each other just isn't something we can do anymore. So, I am going to be an alien housewife.. I will spend my days cleaning, crafting, writing, cooking.. anything to keep myself busy. The plan right now is to enter Canada around November 1st. We will find an apartment and Nate will continue to work full-time to support the both of us. And that is all I know for now.. so please, enough with the questions.
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