The key to sanity: Alone Time

I went to my first movie alone today. It was fantastic. I didn't have to compromise with someone else about which movie to see or what snacks to get. I got to sit where I wanted and I got to use both arm rests. Once the movie started I didn't feel alone at all, but being alone didn't bother me in the first place.

In my 20s I've done a lot of typically partner or group activities alone. I shop alone almost exclusively, I've gone to restaurants alone, I've spent an unknown amount of time alone in coffee shops, and I've lived alone twice. I can spend as much time doing whatever it is I want to do without worrying I've become a burden to someone. Being alone allows me to think clearly and to think for myself. For me it is difficult to develop certain beliefs and ideas with other people around. Getting advice from other people is great, but sometimes it is important to reflect upon yourself without noise from others.

One person dance parties are less embarrassing.
I can be naked (in appropriate places).
Music/movies/tv shows are all my choice.

I've never understood the inhibitions people have about being alone in public. I suppose part of it has to do with the possibility of being judged as a sad, lonely, friendless person by the people around. Personally, I feel especially creative when I am alone in public places. People watching, without input, is incredibly inspiring and I feel much less judgmental when I am alone. But, here are some tips to help ease the potential awkward feelings of being alone in public if you need to be.

1. Don't let yourself look like a lonely, friendless person. I find myself only thinking that about people who look uncomfortable and sad. Pajamas and sweatpants can definitely be a telltale sign of loneliness. However, it can also say "I don't care about what I wear." SO, the clothing is up to you.. I guess. don't wear pajamas or sweatpants in public, please.

2. Bring something to do if you'll be sitting somewhere alone. Books, newspapers, a laptop, your phone... You'll look like you are on your lunch break, even if you aren't. Also, for women, if you look busy, creepy men are less likely to approach you to try to spark some weird conversation. (yes, this happens to me.)


3. I can't think of a real third tip. Just enjoy your alone time. It is refreshing, trust me.

One year later...

It's official. I've been living in Winnipeg for an entire year. So, what is there to say about it? There has been a definite learning curve in moving to another country, even one so similar to the U.S. For example: Oreos aren't made by Nabisco, but by Mr. Christie instead. And you definitely can't get any of the fun seasonal flavors. Also, it's spelled flavours here. And even though the laptop I'm typing on was made with the Canadian consumer in mind and the keyboard can easily be converted to French, it insists I have spelled flavo(u)rs wrong. All the brands of cigarettes are different and the beer is different, too. In fact, the cigarettes come with scary pictures of tongue cancer and tracheotomies in an attempt to drive consumers away from the product. I don't think it works. I can't use Hulu, Pandora, or Spotify, but those websites insist they are working on ways to get the licensing to make viewing and listening available to the country I live in.

I've begun to understand the intense love/hate relationship everyone who lives here seems to have with Winnipeg. As with any city there are lovely, beautiful places and then there are the horrible places no one wants to go. Winnipeg deserves to have more of the beautiful places and less of the horrible. It's a place with so much potential and I still haven't figured out what is holding it back.

CFL football is still weird to me, but I made it to a couple Bomber games (for free) and really enjoyed myself. It also helped that the stadium has veggie dogs so I wasn't stuck eating the grossest "nachos" ie: chips with "cheese."

Last week I sent in my application for my work permit and I HOPE I get it within a month or so. I have a second "interview" tomorrow in the form of a day of job shadowing. So, here's hoping I have a job by the end of the day.  AND once I get my work permit I can walk my way down to Manitoba Health and get my health card, which will allow me to go to the doctor whenever I want. That part still doesn't seem real.

I'm really, really, really frustrated by the cost of houses here, I still don't understand how the government works, I don't believe the province motto "Friendly Manitoba," and I don't like Tim Hortons coffee.

At this point, I can honestly say my first year here was only sort of okay, mostly due to immigration and not having a job. But, I'm hopeful for the future.

Hey Canada, servers in North Dakota get paid much less than you realize.

I see a lot of posts on the internet from servers in North Dakota complaining about the tipping habits of the Canadians they encounter. So, because I have been a server in North Dakota and because I now live in Canada I feel like I need to do some speaking up.

To the bad Canadian tippers:
I feel like the ONLY thing you need to understand is that in North Dakota servers don't get paid minimum wage. More often than not your server is getting paid close to $4 an hour. Yes, you read that right. There is a law in North Dakota and some other states that allows employers to pay their employees much lower than minimum wage because they make up for it in tips. Obviously this is a law that needs to be changed because the patrons of a restaurant shouldn't be paying the wages and also because it puts A LOT of stress on the servers who try really hard and get jipped. So, please.. for the love of God, tip at least 15-20%. Please. And please pass this on to friends and family who travel to Grand Forks or Fargo or anywhere else. I'm begging you.

To the upset servers in North Dakota:
First, minimum wage in Manitoba is around $10 an hour and from what I understand servers get paid that on top of their tips. So, it's safe to assume that the people you are serving from Canada have no clue you get paid nothing per hour. If you provide great service, that is still no excuse to me but, there is an explanation for that as well...
Apparently, it is commonly known that Manitobans tend to be real cheap. So, I'm sorry for that.

I really hope this clears up at least a little of the frustration and confusion. And I also hope this gets around to Canadians who love to get a deal in the U.S.

Just a little technology rant.

My friend, April, and I went to the beach last week. We packed little lunches, a couple books, and plenty of sunscreen. April spread out her orange beach blanket and we set up shop. We were there for nearly 5 hours; in and out of the water, girl talking, people watching... our books never came out of the bags they were packed in. Neither did a single cellphone.

Since I've been in Canada I haven't had a cellphone. I'm not working and it just doesn't fit into our budget. April has a cellphone, but it's one of those old slide phones. No Facebook, no Twitter, no Instagram. Because of this, nothing about our little beach day was documented. *Gasp!* And it was amazing. We talked. We bonded. We had fun. We weren't concerned about whether or not we had any service way out there.

But, I totally get it. I had a smart phone before I moved. I had everything I needed in a sleek, palm sized computer/phone/camera hybrid. It is so convenient, and we are in an age of convenience.. right? Right. I can't deny that. However, one thing I've had issue with since it's conception is letting people know where you are at all times of the day. It started with foursquare and moved into all the other social media vehicles.You know when your friends or acquaintances wake up and when they go to bed. You know what they look like at these times. You know their work schedules and when they go on vacation. You've seen their cleavage, broken bones, and unborn babies. Privacy doesn't really exist anymore. But, again, I get it. I've participated in these trends.

Last night, Nate and I were watching Canada Day fireworks. There were a lot of couples watching them. Traditionally, for some reason, they are sort of romantic. Sitting with your significant other on a blanket, holding hands.. except this wasn't happening. The show started and everyone stood up. Then THEY ALL TOOK THEIR PHONES OUT. I'm not exaggerating when I say "all." Every single person felt the need to document this experience instead of experiencing it with the people they were there with. The atmosphere was ruined. Completely ruined.

If you want to take a picture of the fantastic meal you are about to eat, fine. If you want to show someone your boobs in a passive way, fine. But, there are certain things that are being ruined by iPhone apps. Like camping. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, camping was once a way to get away from the hustle and bustle. Now everyone brings the hustle and bustle with them and then complains when they don't get cellphone service.

Lets just say I'm thankful for the moderate amount of privacy this highly technological world will allow me for the time being. I definitely don't miss my phone.

Yes, I Get Enough Protein.

We are living in the 21st century. Society has made significant advances in technology, health, medicine, agriculture... So, you must understand my complete confusion when someone discovers I am a vegetarian and doesn't understand it. The first question is always, "why?" Honestly, I never really know how to answer. I know why I'm a vegetarian but my reasons are really no one's business. The next question is always, "well, what do you eat?" Quickly followed by something along the lines of, "I'm basically a vegetarian. I only eat red meat like twice a week.. I usually only eat chicken. But, I could never give up steak." What am I supposed to say to that?

I don't eat animals because I really like animals. Seriously. I woke up one morning and thought to myself, "I really like animals.. so, why do I eat them?"

It started with pork a few years prior to this thought. I hold a special place in my heart for pigs. I told myself that because of this I could no longer eat pork products. That lead to the discovery that I could find no good reason for killing an animal, any animal, for food. Also, factory farming is one of the most horrible things to happen on and to this planet.

My husband's reason for not eating animals is because he doesn't have to (and because it is gross.) The world knows much more about food now than we did even 20 years ago. We no longer need meat to get protein (it started as a propaganda stunt.) There are healthier ways to get just as much, or more protein from plants... along with other essential nutrients and the ever important fiber.


Other simple reasons I don't eat meat: cancer, high cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease. (my risk for all those things has dropped significantly since I stopped eating animals.)

Also, I lost 15 pounds after I stopped eating meat. If that isn't a reason to take a day or two off of meat each week, I don't know what is.

The Dream to be a Proper Canadian Immigrant

To the Canadian politicians this letter may concern:

My name is Emily Glover and I am an alien housewife. You may be asking yourself, "what exactly is an alien housewife," and you will be surprised to know there are (probably) thousands of alien housewives and househusbands living in your country.

I met a man from Winnipeg, Manitoba at a Taco Bell in Fargo, North Dakota. A friend introduced us. Eventually, we dated, fell in love, and got married. Pretty standard boy meets girl story. ANYWAY, at some point we had to decide where we would live. We chose Winnipeg. So here I am, with a visitor visa, unable to work or study while my husband and I wait for my immigration paperwork to be finished. I sit at home most days trying to pass the time doing housework, watching bad daytime television, moving back and forth between my various social networking sites, and an assortment of other activities.

Upon first discovering how long it could be before I could work, I thought to myself, "MAN it's going to be nice having a break from the 18 years I just spent in school, nine of which I was also working!" But now, six months into being stuck at home during the week while my husband works to provide for us I feel as though maybe I am wasting my life away. Except, there is very little I can do about it.

You see, I worked hard the past five years of my life to obtain a university degree. I am very proud of this accomplishment in my life and love the field I got my degree in. I have seen several opportunities to apply for jobs I am qualified for come and go. I graduated a year ago and feel like I'm wasting my education.

I understand why I can't work. I assume some people in the past screwed it up for everyone else. I know the Canadian government just wants to make sure that all the people entering the country as immigrants aren't dangerous or trying to get free healthcare for their various ailments and I fully respect and appreciate that. What I don't understand is why Nate and I couldn't have started the immigration process before we were married to ensure I could work legally in Canada by time I got here.

I am able-bodied, young, and healthy. I have no criminal record beyond a few campus parking tickets. I hate being late for anything and always pay my bills on time. I only speak one language but know enough sign language to get by in a simple conversation. I am so anxious to work. Until you look through my paperwork, you won't know any of these things about me. But, why not give me the benefit of the doubt until you find out I'm a lying liar and then keep me from getting any sort of residence status in Canada? If I could work my husband and I could start saving to buy a house, get a second car, start considering having a family, and just generally spend more money. All things which would make me feel like I'm contributing to society, not to mention the Canadian and Manitoban economy.

Sincerely,

Emily Glover
Canadian resident hopeful

P.S. I recently found out I am allowed to do volunteer work and will be taking full advantage of it. I'm unsure if anyone of importance will see this e-letter and am considering sending a similar (more professional) letter to as many Canadian government officials as possible in the hopes they will be empathetic to my situation. If it doesn't help me, maybe it will help a future alien housewife/househusband. If you would be so kind, please share this post.. especially to people who know someone who knows someone whom this may concern.

FAQs

I get asked questions almost daily about immigration and things related to moving and living in a new country. Here are the frequently asked questions and their answers.

Q: If you and Nate are married, aren't you just automatically a Canadian citizen?
A: No. Nonono. If that were the case, people would get married all the time just to become a citizen of a new country. We filled out paperwork and both of us need to be approved for me to live and work here permanently.

Q: Are you working?
A: No. I can't work legally until a certain amount of the paperwork has be approved. At that point, I will get a letter saying I can start working.

Q: You get Canada's free healthcare though.. right..?
A: No, not until I can start working. Also, Canada's healthcare is not free. It is paid for by taxes.

Q: Do you know when you will be able to work?
A: Not really. As far as we understand, it can be anywhere between 5 and 8 months from the time they get our paperwork into the system.

Q: Is the Canadian immigration process easier than the American?
A: Both are a hassle. Neither is necessarily easier than the other.

Q: Will you be a dual citizen?
A: Probably not. I'm pretty sure the U.S. doesn't like people doing that anymore. I will be keeping my U.S. citizenship as long as possible. As far as I know, Canada doesn't really bother you once you become a permanent resident. So, as long as I can live in work in Canada and be an American citizen I will do that.

Q: How are you liking the weather? (yes, people ask me this all the time)
A: I'm from Fargo, ND. The weather is the same.

Have a question not seen on this list? Feel free to email me at emily.r.lucero@gmail.com.

In honor of International Womens Day, 2012

I recently finished reading Cunt: A Declaration of Independence by Inga Musico. I picked it up off the shelf of the bookstore because I feel like all this sitting at home is making my brain rot and I needed a good, non-fiction book that wasn't a biography. And how could I pass up reading a book with a title like that?

I just want to start off by saying that every woman, biological or not, should read this book. Inga immediately started the book off by letting every reader know just exactly what the word cunt meant before it was hijacked and turned into an insult. Believe it or not, it was a term of respect for women back before patriarchal society took over. THEN, if that isn't enough, the term vagina came to be. Vagina meaning a sheath. You know, for a sword. So thanks for that, ruling men of the world. She covered menstruation, abortion, sex/self love, cunt health, rape, acrimony between women, self protection, and so much more. There is also a huge section in the back called "The Cunt-lovin' Guide" with books, movies, music, stores, and websites with all the information you could possibly want to know.

This book made me realize a lot of things. A. LOT. OF. THINGS. I don't usually have a new years resolution because I think that all year long you should try to be better and do better things without an excuse. But, as the result of reading this book and a little bit of reflection I have a couple life resolutions. Here is my list:

-I will not hate a woman for no reason any longer.
-I will not use the terms slut or whore or any similar term to describe a woman and will not stand for people who think it is okay.
-I will go out of my way to support women authors, musicians, artists, business owners, etc.
-I will continue to educate myself in the hopes that I can educate my friends, future friends, and children/children's children/children's children's children about respect for women, biological or not.

If you think I'm some crazy feminist after reading this, then fine. But, that's not really what this is about. It's about standing in solidarity with one another. Seriously, read this book. You will be amazed by some of the things she says.

The True North Strong and Free

I've been in Winnipeg for about four months. And, I'll admit for the first few weeks I was nothing but pissed about the fact that I couldn't buy chili beans in a can or get a proper burrito. However, I have actually come to love it here. With the obvious things pushed aside (Nate, decent health care) this is my top 10 list of things I love about Winnipeg/Canada in no particular order:

*I realize some of these things are due to the fact that it is a bigger city.. but, they are things that help me appreciate being here.

1. The city picks up your recycling every week, just like garbage pick up. AND you don't have to separate it!
2. Boon Burger
3. Poutine
4. There are a lot of health store options all over the city so you never have to go out of your way to get that weirdo hippy product you love.
5. Cream soda is pink!
6. I guess it's sorta cool that there is an NHL team here.
7. Lo Bistro- They have the most amazing vegan caesar salad. I could eat it every day. Also, vegetarian or vegan cheesesteaks. mmmmm...
8. Peanut Noodle Soup from Spring Roll or Delicious Vegetarian
9. Ukrainian food
10. Slurpees

Bonus:
11. The Canadian Human Rights museum is currently under construction at The Forks. I absolutely cannot wait to go. I WILL go the first day.

Most of the things on this list are food. I'm okay with that.